The reason why I really really really want to watch Twilight.

I want to know how they plan to explain this:

I have some guesses:

• Ancient Vampire Amulet — that seconds as an RSS feed reader.
• It was misty outside.
• Hemorrhoid cream.

Anybody else care to guess?

MILFs are so misunderstood!

You would imagine what a big letdown it was to the the segment of the libido crazed male population who have no idea what MILF really stood for after trying to read more about the headline:

“Downed US spy plane now ‘property’ of MILF rebels”

Comments of hilarity abound in the page.

Click me to read about it.

Apple Online Store is now in the Philippines!

Which is fantastic because I totally cannot afford, in any shape or form, an Apple computer unless I do something like corner the black market of cockatoo smuggling.

I tried browsing for some iPod earphones, since mine went on to betray me and started disintegrating itself right before my eyes, even though I explicitly told it not to. Unfortunately, the earphones they have are slim pickings, so I guess I just have to shop around in a mall or something. Which I hate because that would mean I have to put more effort than I intend to, as compared to just clicking the mouse button.

The Apple Store Philippines can be found here.

Barkers

I hate barkers! You know, those people who latch on the side of jeepneys, buses and cabs; yelling to all the people walking on the sidewalk the destination of the public transport, desperately hoping to hoard in some spare change from the drivers and always expecting that they get paid for their efforts. Those barkers. Yes, I loathe them. I loathe them because of how useless they are and how they pretend that what they’re doing adds value to the poor drivers they leech money from. From my experience, I don’t really depend on these people to let me know where the thing I want to ride is supposed to be headed simply because at the same moment they begin their wailing, I would’ve read the destination card that’s written in front already. And it’s not as if I can understand them since they pretty much sound like they speak in a dialect that’s uttered only in Mordor or something. Like how Buendia to them is pronounced as “Anja! Anja!” while Ayala sound like “Yaya! Yaya!”.

Another thing that bugs me about them is that they pretend to ignore the existence of the bus conductor who’s doing THE EXACT SAME THING that they’re doing. Just recently, I was in a bus and we were at the Baclaran area and this kid started tailing our side and began saying THE EXACT SAME THING the conductor was shouting. They have a wholehearted belief that they should be paid for doing something that nobody asked them to do and somebody else was doing in the first place. Like this other time when we hailed a cab and moments after we got the attention of the driver to come and pick us up, this asshole barker started to hail THE EXACT SAME CAB and went into this act of “assisting” us in getting THE EXACT SAME CAB. So when we got in the cab, the barker began harassing the driver to cough up some cash, getting inside the cab, refusing to close the door. Well, the driver had no choice but to spare him some change because there was nothing else to do that’s short having to plant our foot onto the barker’s face and kicking him into the sidewalk.

I would love to have done that though.

I’m back!

Alright! I started and have decided to update my blog again. Why you ask? Because I suddenly have some time in my hands and Globe visibility is currently doing some awesome things to internet browsing here. Therefore, I get to tether my laptop to speeds that I thought would only be available to someone with a DSL connection. And since I found it too complicated [Read -- I didn't want to spend money] to sign up for a DSL inside the room where I’m renting right now, I was unfortunately left behind in the movement of the “Interwebs”. But that’s all in the past because of the wonders of HSDPA and the awesomeness of E51, I get to invest some of my productivity into some meaningful and important [Read -- update my facebook] interweb activities.

But enough about that. Read what the rest is saying about my return to blogging:

The rest of humanity

So?

People riding the MRT

What? Who? OMG, somebody fix this vortex of hellcrap train –  i don’t want to smell like somebody’s body odor every morni…aaah!, more people! Coming in! Ambfbfbdfg.

The blogging community

…

People riding the LRT2

Haha! We get to enjoy the view of a well maintained train while listening to Christmas songs, while the losers riding the MRT get to listen to their growing slilence of slowly suffocating to death and the sight of somebody’s earwax falling on their arms.

Woo! Hoo! You can’t pay for buzz like these.

Pain in the Ass Catastrophe

This awful, awful typhoon seemed to have put our regular living habits in a deranged tailspin and it’s very gnawing to imagine that life’s little procedures are suddenly curbed to a hairline minimum. Our house is barely functioning without water for crying out loud. How long does it take to mend our basic utilities because it’s already Sunday and I’m getting really tired of my consistent efforts to prolong bathroom duties because I really need to pee? If it were up to me, I’d prefer that the water problem got fixed first before the electricity. It’s just that I want to be sure when I get up for work tomorrow, I have to have something to bathe with. Although, in retrospect, the utility of water does depend on a functioning supply of electricity so maybe that’s why it’s still difficult right now.

At least there’s a shower in the office, so it’s sort of a comfort that I have that kind of last resort. I am just not looking forward to carrying a lot of stuff. I bet this one of those moments that the oft-repeated and eventually made clichéd saying “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” comes into picture and that ranting is about as useful as me hoping one day that a magic genie would finally appear and grant me my three wishes.

Imba.

Holy mother of a cow. I’ve been cooped up at the office for two straight weeks already without even enjoying a single rest day. That’s why I’ll be absent on Monday so that I can finally prioritize my RF character. Twenty-four hours dedicated just for my RPG game. I am giddy at the thought.

Hoo-hah!

Hello. Work-Life imbalance, is that you?

Huff and Puff

For a while, I’ve been noticing a marked downhill progression of my general wellness. Given that the only thing remotely close to an exercise I perform these days is me lifting my cellphone (I know, it’s pathetic), I’ve come to a conclusion that I am someone who without question requires a more potent exertion of physical fitness to my scrawny body. Add to that my unending dependence of nicotine and constant stress in work and lack of sleep; I really see this as something that would blow over in the near future. Therefore, I must start some commitment; a creed of some sort, that I must — to the best of my efforts — do everything to become much healthier. And this, I guess, starts with exercise.

Which brings me to this point: Dammit, I need to find a cheap gym. Crap. One that doesn’t have any equipment that caters as a natural habitat for algae and fungi and rust. I guess I must start scouring first those that are nearby my house or at work, so at least things won’t be less of a hassle.

And jogging. I got to find the will to wake up at 5 a.m. and start making use of my legs. I just hate the fact that at around 6 a.m., that’s when the cars start coming out from their homes and my jogging becomes counter-productive because gasoline fumes are getting piped to my lungs.

Massive Relocation

I just realised how paltry my blogger was — namely because of my template’s complete incompatibility with Internet Explorer. In light of this, I plan a massive transfer of all my blogger posts to this wordpress blog. Although, I’m still trying to figure out some kinks out of this stupid wordpress as well, particularly my theme’s inability to turn words into hyperlinks and some spacing issues.

Aaah.

I Heart David Brent

Swoon.

Microsoft UK came up with a groovy idea of having David Brent film training videos for their employees, and the results is what I assume heaven must be made out of. For those unaware, David Brent is the fanatastic main character of the British series, The Office.

Hee.

Enjoy the David Brent great/awesomeness:

[Via adfreak]